You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
