This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
