I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
