Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
