I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
