I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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