dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Randomize
