I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
