It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
