That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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