Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
