I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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