Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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