Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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