i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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