Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
