i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
