At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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