They should really pass out barf bags in church
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
