Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
