what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize