I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My dick has a subreddit
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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