I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
