We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
