Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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