somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize