And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
