what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
