I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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