so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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