Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
