That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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