We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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