Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
