there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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