yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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