Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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