just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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