After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
