having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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