guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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