I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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