You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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