i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am naked and annoyed.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
