Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
