You work out of a Hotel?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
