Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I need moral support for this bender
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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