So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've blown a few things in my day
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
