This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
