When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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