On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
