Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
