I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
