No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
