Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
They have beer where we have blood.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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