I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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