so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just found puke in my bra..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
