On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
