she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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