fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
